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Lesley's PlaceThe place where all my thoughts come together...yeah, I know, "whatever"
11月13日 Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.So yeah, thought I would start that off with a funny quote.
Nothing has really been happening here in Ottawa, my boyfriend kinda left or he's been missing for about a week and a hlaf now, so that kinda sucks ass. I try not to think about it too much, because obviously, if he didn't want to be with me theres no sense in crying over spilled milk. However there is that little nagging part in me that thinks maybe he is hurt somewhere...ah well, I won't know until the police call me up will I. It's a very stressful, irritating time for me and everyone else involved in his life. Silly thing is I love him very much, and will continue to do so. On the bright side, Pat will be home soon (thanks for that Chris
 ) that means that I am most likely going to be whisked away for some amazing weekend. Well, I miss them both. Other than that I am heading out to the Theory of A Deadman concert in about 15 minutes so that should be an amazingly good time. Well I just wanted to let you guys know that I AM STILL ALIVE. And a little irritated with you buggers because you never write me  and that makes me an extremely sad panda! By the Way Guys, I am starting my online huggathon rite......now.
 Massive hugs to all those who read this, and please don't hesitate to hug me back the worst you could do is cheer me or anyone else up!Hugs and Kisses,
Lesley 10月10日 Holy Mother of GodSo, its been a while since I've actually written in here...not that you B*stards read this anyway (and if you do you know I love you). So yeah not much new has been going on here in Ottawa, I am an administrator for "Ottawa's fastest growing business..." and I've grown to hate paperwork. I have a new boyfriend, well, he's not exactly "new" we've been going out for almost 3 months (or is it 4?) his name is Chris and I love him to pieces. Mommy's coming down in another week or so and I get to spend some time with her (I haven't seen her in like 3 years). I totally missed my best friends birthday and I am the biggest skeeze bag in the world for it, happy 20th Karl, and I'm sorry I missed your bday!!! I have the bestest birthday gift for you in the world, it has to be because I am the biggest jerk in the world. Unfortunately I did not get to go have some of Gramma's cooking for thanksgiving because I was unable to rent a car through AVIS because they stink like...well, I won't slam them because I guess they try (insert roll of the eyes here) so I guess I will have to go up to Gramma and Grandpas when my mom comes down. I can't wait for them to meet Chris, suprisingly enough, I really hope that they like him (right, because Grandma and Grandpa have a HUGE say in who I go out with) but still, life will be so much easier if they do like him right? I am such a big loser, I have absolutely no life, I am either sitting at the front desk booking interviews, faxing paperwork or pretending to be busy or I am sitting at home eating food and watching reruns of Friends...(best show ever). Naja will be back from Halifax tonight and I am suber duber excited because than we can sit around the house, eat food and watch friends together...oh joy. We haven't really changed much, sure I've gotten prettier but we always knew that would happen (right nudge?) totally kidding. I love you Naja. Please don't hurt me. Please.
So yeah, I am going to Toronto this weekend, I am really excited about it because I have never really BEEN to Toronto, I mean I have been to Toronto but I haven't really gotten a chance to look around there because I was too busy working my bum off. So we're going to TO for a couple of days (fri and sat) and then we are going to Hamilton for the Leaders Conference (because I am so a leader right? Wrong.) I am just going to be there to take lots of pictures and make sure Amanda doesn't freeze while giving her speech...as well as making it as difficult as possible. So on Thursday, Amanda and I are going to go suit shopping...I am looking forward to that, I don't think that I have ever owned a suit...other than my cadet uniform of course, but that doesn't count. When did I become such a girl you ask? I haven't really I just kinda HAVE to because of my job requirements, that means at least once or twice this week I have to straighten my hair or wear some make-up...BLEGH. Too much time and effort put into wearing make-up when I'm only going to wear it for like twelve hour or rub it off half way through the day. Pfft. Pain in the ass requirements.
Well, I think I just wanted to let everyone who ACTUALLY reads this know that I am still alive, kicking and breathing...among other things.
So I love you all.
Ciao,
Lesley 1月12日 My New Years Adventure...you guys r gunna luv thisOkay, so I had to work on New Years...sounds like blegh right there doesn't it???? Well, you're wrong, it was awesome. It was so slack and we had a lot of fun last night, especially with me and my hoarding of the champagne and Sex on The Beach...mmmm...anyway, so, the adventure begins...after everyone punched out, Eb****** asked if I wanted a ride somewhere...so I asked him if I could get a ride to the Transitway and he dropped me off at Bank and Albert...party Central (not really, it was really dead) so I saw this guy stumbling towards me and he asks the time...and I tell him lol (10 to 3) and then we strike up this conversation, and although this guy is pissed off his rocker, he has a pretty awesome life 4th year university studying philosiphy, a kid (i think) a real thinker...anyways, the f**king bus driver tells me that the 97 is the last bus going south...(Unfortunately it doesn't go where I want it to go...) So I figure, hey wtf, I will take it to Lincoln Fields and figure something out there...where there is Warmth. So I get there and I go to the warm place that is on the inside and there is one PISS LOADED GUY, two girls and two guys, one of whom is VERY snobbish and seems to have an anger problem...but yeah, I ended up spending the better part of my New Years with this cool guy (I don't even know his name haha) in a bus shelter...then I went home and slept...
Happy New Years! 12月27日 Merry Belated Christmas!!!Merry Christmas everyone, and I hope you all have a safe and happy holidays!!!
Now down to business (lol, nothing is ever business with me
 ) So I had a wonderful Christmas...I got woken up in the morning, I opened all 4 of my presents and then I went to my uncles parents house where I got some Laura Secord chocolates (OH YEAH!!!! SCORE!) Then I went to Jamies and had a quiet Christmas dinner with him, his mom, his brother Andre and his son Ethan (the cutest thing in the world!!!) After that I stayed for a bit and watched a movie and then hauled my ass all the way home...stupid buses running on a stupid reduced sunday schedule...well sounds like a lot of fun doesn't it? It was in it's own sort of boring way. Je T'aime toute le monde, et Joyeux Noel!!!
I'm out,
Lesley B.
12月19日 Dilemna? Dilemma? Whatever!Okay, three blogs in one day...I know, its totally mind blowing, but hey, what can you do...except read.
I need some adivce from anyone willing to give it...except Brad, because I know he'll just say "I told you so" lol.
Here's my Dilemna:
Almost four years ago, my friend Tammy K. introduced me to this guy named Jamie, now I thought Jamie was an awesome guy, so awesome that I wanted him to be my boyfriend. But me being shy and all that jazz (plus I was going out with Brad at the time) I never got up the courage because I thought that he wouldn't like me like that (considering the fact that I thought that he was like, in love, with Tammy) so, we spread apart and I never really spoke to him again, Tammy talked about him a few times here and there, and I asked about him because I really did like him alot when we hung out...but nothing really came out of it. Now, as you all know, I moved back to Ottawa and it will be almost a year that I've been here, and one night when I was on my way home from my friend Sammy's dorm at Carleton U and who should I run into, but Jamie, we talked for a bit and then he recorded my phone number on his video camera...I didn't think he would call me, but he did the next night when I was sitting on the computer (wow, what a shocker) he told me all about his life...how now, three years later, he had a kid and he was a little bit messed up from a previous relationship with his baby's mommy. Then, he admitted something that had me a little taken aback, he had wanted to ask me out four years ago when I first met him, but by the time he had worked up the courage I was gone. That had me wondering: "Do I still like Jamie?" of course the answer was yes, I don't think I had ever stopped liking him, he just kinda sat at the back of my mind. So, after a few visits we got invloved and he told me that he still liked me...but, what I didn't realize was how much he had changed...there was no more care-free Jamie that I remembered from those few years ago, he looked older, he had a kid, he had so many problems that I had to stop and say "Do I want this? Is it worth it?" You know what, it is worth it, he may be my complete opposite but he's the best. He's honest, trustworthy, sweet (at times), and funny...there's more, I just don't have a lot of time. I wanted to help him, because I care about him, and because I hate seeing people I love and care about suffer...the only problems were this:
1. He wants time before he asks me out, and thats fine, I understand that. But as we all know, I'm a little impatient.
2. He doesn't like it when I call him my "boyfriend", which kind of upsets me, but I don't want to talk to him about it bc he gets a little irked.
3. His self esteem is almost gone (bc of his ex) and it's hard sometimes.
So what do I do guys, should I keep at it, because I care about him?
I'm out
LB You know what...You know what I hate...I hate how this is SUPPOSED TO BE A BLOG WHERE YOU CAN WRITE YOUR THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS but you're not ALLOWED TO WRITE SWEAR WORDS...you guys suck. Sl*t SpermThis reminded me of Jamie when we were at the hospital the other night...especially the part thats highlighted...in yellow...not that he's really like that, but I thought it was funny anyways.
The wrongs we're doing for Mr. Right
Sylvie Hill And sometimes the most lost and wasted attract the most balanced and sane And the wild and reckless take up with the clock and the timed and the mixture is all of us and we're still mixing. From "She Came Along to Me," Wilco, Bragg and Guthrie Sometimes when I'm chillin' with my male friends, I get a bit wonky. And that's okay. 'Cause like many single Ottawans, I'm in training. Cue Rocky theme song. Like the other Saturday night, I was hanging out at Mario's place with him and his buddies. We were listening to super great tunes, enjoying the wicked view from the all-glass condo downtown, sharing hilarious stories, laughing at how low-waist jeans show off your bum crack, and eating pizza. Super fun! The dudes were mixing up some cold adult beverages and my ginger ale was pretty damn refreshing, let me tell you. A perfect Saturday night, really, until... ...I went to bite into my pizza slice and the tomato goop squirted McCain Pizza Pockets-style down my wrist. And all hell broke loose. It wasn't that I was embarrassed by the physical mess. It was the mental one in my messed-up head that ensued, post squirting. See, the problem was that I expected Mario to fetch me a Kleenex to clean up and he didn't. What an a-hole, right? Was he that distracted by my brilliant commentary upon Wilco, Billy Bragg and Woody Guthrie? And when I was, like, "Crap!" when the sauce spillage occurred and he jumped up to go to the other room
Wrong. He came back with a CD. Reader, have you ever got pi**ed at someone for not doing something they had no idea they were supposed to do? In my fantasy re-enactment where Mario plays an awesome boyfriend, he was failing miserably. But I'm not alone in my psychosis. Actual real couples in Ottawa get into real fights because of phantom expectations just like mine. Remember when your husband didn't answer his mobile on Valentine's Day, and you assumed he was too busy overseeing the famous chef who was cooking you an exquisite surprise dinner? When he showed up with McDonald's, you kicked his a**-. Or how about when you outlined a master plan for a nice romantic night to your boyfriend as he was half-baked or falling asleep and you perceived his silence as compliance? How pleased were you that Friday night, coming home to a house full of men and a hockey game? You ignored him all weekend. That was me in relationships. And the maniacal thinking slips into my innocent friendships with the opposite sex sometimes, reminding me that I'm either still a fu**ing nutter or that it's high time to fix the problems. Problems, say, like fortune telling. I have this habit of fast-forwarding into the future to screen what life will be like with a dude I just met. And with Mario, within seconds of my secret drama, I predicted that if he was too absorbed and careless to get me a tissue, can you imagine how he'll treat me as a lover? He'll be one of those "I don't like condoms" guys and with his sl**t sperm, he'll impregnate me with four loser children. On top of raising Mr. Lazy A**'s children, I'll end up taking extra jobs to pay the maid (who he'll f**k in front of little Dante, Giovanni, Sylviani and Bonita, poor souls) to clean up our house 'cause he's a filthy pig. He'll abandon us all. He'll move back into his condo (with his secretary), which will give him a good view of me and our half-Mediterranean brats dumpster-diving behind Lapointe's and stealing turnips from the Byward Market farmers' stalls. I'll have to form a mother-and-kids gypsy band and busk for coins on Rideau. Don't even request Wilco, man - the painful memories will exacerbate my eczema. Wow. In two minutes, and unbeknownst to Mario, I had had sex with him, got married and divorced, and started a band with our mixed-breed children with horrendous names all because of a fantasy freakin' Kleenex. Is it any wonder I'm single for the first Christmas since 2000! But thank Christ! I've got a few wrongs to right before I inflict them on any living male in relationship form. Obviously I haven't fully detached from my system the bombs that blew up my past relationships, such as impatience, assuming, projection and, the worst of all, insane fantasizing. And that's why single guy friends are so important to us chicks. They're like guinea pigs or a test ground, an outlet and means to diffuse our freakiness. They help us help ourselves clean up our own messes and store our baggage before Mr. Right comes along. Without knowing it, they force us to look at things differently. Like when a guy forgets your Kleenex, but brings you a great CD instead - cut the f**ker some slack already. XXX |
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